Relationship Resources
We've curated a collection of the best resources for understanding and improving your relationships, from attachment styles to communication patterns, emotional intelligence, and more.
Recommended Books
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment
by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
A practical guide to understanding how attachment styles impact our romantic relationships and how to build healthier connections.
Wired for Love
by Stan Tatkin
A neuroscience-based approach to building a secure relationship by understanding your own and your partner's attachment styles.
Becoming Attached
by Robert Karen
A comprehensive history of attachment theory and its implications for child development and adult relationships.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
by John Gottman and Nan Silver
Based on decades of research, this book provides practical principles for strengthening relationships and resolving conflicts effectively.
The 5 Love Languages
by Gary Chapman
A guide to understanding the five ways people express and experience love, helping couples connect more deeply through effective communication.
Hold Me Tight
by Dr. Sue Johnson
An introduction to Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) that helps couples identify and break negative communication patterns and build stronger emotional bonds.
Emotional Intelligence
by Daniel Goleman
A foundational book on understanding emotions and developing emotional intelligence, essential for building healthy relationships.
Online Resources
The Attachment Project
www.attachmentproject.comComprehensive resources on attachment theory, including articles, quizzes, and practical advice for improving relationships.
Personal Development School
www.personaldevelopmentschool.comOnline courses and resources focused on healing attachment wounds and building secure relationships.
Psychology Today - Attachment
www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/attachmentArticles and resources on attachment theory from mental health professionals.
The Gottman Institute
www.gottman.comResearch-based resources, articles, and tools for building healthy relationships based on Dr. John Gottman's extensive research.
Greater Good Science Center
greatergood.berkeley.eduScience-backed articles and resources on relationships, compassion, and well-being from UC Berkeley's research center.
Podcasts & Videos
Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
Real couples anonymously share their stories with renowned therapist Esther Perel, providing listeners with insights into relationship dynamics and therapeutic approaches.
Foreplay Radio - Couples & Sex Therapy
Sex therapist Laurie Watson and couples therapist George Faller discuss relationships, intimacy, and communication challenges.
The Baggage Reclaim Sessions
Focuses on helping listeners recognize and break unhealthy relationship patterns to build more fulfilling connections.
The School of Life - Relationships
YouTube ChannelThoughtful, animated videos explaining relationship concepts, emotional intelligence, and psychological insights.
Apps & Digital Tools
Lasting
A relationship counseling app that provides personalized programs to strengthen your relationship based on research-backed methods.
Relish
A relationship coaching app that offers personalized lessons and activities based on your relationship needs.
Love Nudge
Based on The 5 Love Languages, this app helps couples identify and act on each other's love languages to improve connection.
Key Research Papers
"Adult Attachment, Working Models, and Relationship Quality in Dating Couples"
by Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver (1987)
Foundational research showing how attachment patterns from childhood affect adult romantic relationships.
"What Predicts Divorce? The Relationship Between Marital Processes and Marital Outcomes"
by John Gottman (1994)
Landmark study identifying key predictors of relationship success and failure.
"Creating Secure Attachment: A Model for Creating Healthy Bond"
by Sue Johnson (2003)
Details the effectiveness of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) in creating secure attachment bonds between partners.
Working with a Professional
If you're struggling with attachment issues or relationship challenges that are significantly impacting your well-being, consider working with a mental health professional who specializes in relationship dynamics.
Therapies that can be particularly helpful include:
- Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) - Helps couples identify and transform negative interaction patterns and develop secure bonds
- The Gottman Method - Evidence-based approach to improve friendship, conflict management, and create shared meaning
- Schema Therapy - Addresses early maladaptive schemas that affect relationship patterns
- Psychodynamic Therapy - Explores how unconscious processes influence current relationship behaviors
- Attachment-Based Family Therapy - Helps repair family relationships and secure attachments
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) - Identifies and changes negative thought patterns that affect relationships
Finding a Therapist
These directories can help you find qualified therapists specializing in relationships:
Remember that understanding your relationship patterns is just the beginning. With awareness, support, and practice, it's possible to develop more secure attachment patterns and create healthier, more fulfilling relationships.